I’ve been struggling lately. It’s only been a few months since I lost my little brother. It hits me in waves. Some days I can stay so busy that I seem to be ok. Others, not so much.
I have an education group on Facebook called The Oily Kinship. I teach classes there on Essential Oils. I feature special oils every Tuesday that I call Tuesday’s Treasures. Last week the special oil was “Hope”. This is the trigger that lead me to thoughts of my baby brother. I have often talked about triggers and how sometimes they can send us to dark or sad places.
I feel confidant of where Mark is. I know that he is with my Joey and more importantly with his Creator. However this one word, Hope has rattled me and I’ve thought of him every single day since last Tuesday. Wiping a tear stained face I need to release these pent up emotions.
My brother lead a very troubled life. Often times during phone conversations it’s that word, Hope that I felt he was without. That is why saying this word repeatedly while teaching took me directly to Mark. I want to wrap my arms around him and tell him please never give up. You are somebody and you are loved! Please let me step in your shoes and make your choices for you! Please.
How terribly sad it must have felt to be without Hope. Had he been without it so long that it had become his normal? Did he even know that he was living a life filled with hopelessness after doing it for so long? How does one give such a person hope? Can they even accept it?
My brother, how terribly sorry I am that you had to know the toils of the world. I love and miss you every day. Our Lord promised us joy and within that joy you now live. I will look forward to the day that I see you anew, full of love, joy, pride and mostly Hope.
I am not sure why I had to type this tonight but our Father does. Are you someone who is feeling hopeless? Do you need an ear or someone to listen? I am happy to do so. Please call on me. I will pray with you, talk with you, virtually hug you. You are loved and you have hope. Don’t give up and don’t let go.