I was recovering on Sunday morning from a little knee surgery and while flipping through a couple of channels of TV I came across Joel Osteen. I paused for a second then decided to watch. It had been months since I’d done so but that morning I felt led. It’s almost like I was meant to turn on the television at that particular moment…….during that sermon.
Have you ever gone to church and felt like the pastor was talking directly to you? I’ve done that plenty and in fact to the point where I felt like I wanted to squirm down in the pew and then on underneath the one in front of me! I think it must be those times when it was laid on the heart of the pastor to preach a gospel you were meant to hear…unbeknownst to him. This was such a time. Joel said something that has just stuck with me. It’s simple punctuation. He said, “don’t put a question mark where God has put a period.” Say that slowly and think about it.
As stated earlier I have spent many years with a question mark. We’ve come to know each other quite well actually. I asked time and time, why? why? why? I always felt like I deserved an answer. I was in that season of raw pain, deep grief, that season of heartache and that season of unthinkable loneliness. Each year brings a new season of acceptance and thereby, growth. We become a little more used to the new normal we were forced to make…….little by little and though it’s never ever the same each season brings a little more joy. Before your very eyes the seasons roll by and you look up from your life and 10 years has gone by. Not one day passes that we don’t think of our angels but eventually, slowly, life’s tide swoops us up and carries forward without even asking. We are living again. We are laughing again. We are enjoying others. These are the things that brought us such guilt in the past.
Then new seasons come when we must start watering the beautiful seeds around us and in our lives. If we look for them we will see that He has provided joy and abundance for us again…….still. We have to water those beautiful seeds that He’s put in our lives, tend them and nurture them, invest time in to making life beautiful and rich in love again. In doing so and making the choice to move forward in peace we also clear some room for the blessings that await us.
Your grief season is not mine, nor mine, yours. There is no deadline to it…..but please don’t forget to live, take one breath then another, each time nudging ever so slightly to a renewal of faith. I will never ever put a period on my Joey but perhaps a Comma. I will take my precious memories, his loving spirit and move forward in my life. He’s cheering me on……he loved me that much. I’ve placed my comma – this is not done. Oh no. He’s waiting for me and when I see him again we’ll pick up exactly where we left off.